Have Issues With Attracting The Right Kind Of Mate? How Relationship Counseling Helps

If you constantly find yourself attracting the wrong kind of person, there may be reasons why. When you are tired of attracting the wrong kind of person, it is a good idea to seek some counseling. Relationship counseling can be especially beneficial, since it helps determine why you keep attracting and getting involved with unstable people. Here is how this type of counseling can help.

Get to the Core of the Matter

This is some deep, introspective, investigative work. Your therapist will want you to examine your life for patterns. Are you a natural caregiver who may have a tendency to nurture too much or enable too much? These are exactly the characteristics that unstable people hone in on, and that is why they make a B-line right for you.

You may also suffer from self-esteem issues, or you were the victim of childhood trauma or abuse. Violent and aggressive people look for this in others because it means that the low self-esteem or abuse makes you easy to control and/or manipulate. Whatever it is, there is something about you that does draw these kinds of people to you. Knowing what that is is just the start.

Deal With Your Own Issues, and Avoid Relationships Until You Know What to Do

Once you have narrowed it down as to why you are a target for freaks, monsters, and weirdos, you can begin to fix that. Your therapist will help you uncover different techniques that help you address your core issues. You may still encounter someone who thinks you are an "easy mark," but therapy will help you move past these people and utterly avoid them. In the meantime, your therapist may advise you to avoid jumping into a new relationship until you have completely addressed these issues, learned to recognize when someone is definitely going to mistreat you, and how to avoid and deter these people completely.

When You Are in a Relationship, You Should Recognize Healthy From Unhealthy Behavior Patterns

Couples fight; that is for sure. However, fighting over which movie to see on date night versus fighting about money he/she took from your wallet to buy alcohol and/or drugs are two totally different kinds of behavior. You need to recognize which patterns of behavior are healthy and normal for couples and which are not. Then you need to know how to handle your situation if you are in an unhealthy relationship and decide whether or not you will extricate yourself from that relationship. No one should ever be your "savior" when you are in a bad relationship--you need to do that on your own.